High Expectations

Leadership is not for everyone.

It requires a very specific type of person who sees the best in others, and acts on it…consistently. That takes tremendous amounts of energy, perseverance, forgiveness, faith, and (gasp) stubbornness. 

Wait. What? Stubbornness?! Yes, stubbornness.

As a leader of a high-performing team, you HAVE to be stubborn enough to maintain high expectations everyday. Especially when you don’t feel like it. There will be days when you’re tired. I mean emotionally, mentally and physically spent. 

In those moments, everything in you will urge you to “excuse” someone coming in late…or doing their job half-way…or being short with their teammates. Don’t do it!

Keep your standards high and be stubborn about it. Don’t compromise them for anyone. Ever. When you start compromising your standards, it becomes a slippery slope. First, you excuse one infraction. Then another. And then another.

Pretty soon; you become known for being a pushover. A leader who doesn’t really have standards, only suggestions. And, as a leader, you can’t expect your team to follow “suggestions.” 

That is why your expectations are so critical. Keep them high. As high as possible. 

Unapologetically high. Annoyingly high. 

But here’s the key, without a layer of grace to go along with your stubbornly high expectations, you can be labeled as a dictator.

Have I confused you yet? Good. Allow me to share a personal example.

As many of you know, I grew up working in luxury hotels (primarily Ritz-Carlton properties). One of my many jobs was as a banquet server. With banquets, timing, precision and execution are all key requirements for a successful event. 

On beach resorts, it is common for banquets to take place on the beach. Literally, everything set up on the beach. From the tables to the bar to the buffet. The guests love it!

However, it is a logistical headache to coordinate everything so that all of the supplies are ready and available for the servers, cooks and bartenders. 

Enter Josep. He was the Food and Beverage Director. One day, Josep came to me and said that he was very impressed with my work ethic, love for service and attention-to-detail. Nice!

Then, he hit me with the best news that an 18-year-old hotel nerd could ever want to hear. “Bryan, I would like you to be my right hand, as we plan for tomorrow’s big gala on the beach.”

What?!?! You mean to tell me that I was being quasi-promoted to help organize a massive, high-priced, exclusive event? At the Ritz-Carlton, St. Thomas? On the beach? Sign me up.

Of course, I said “yes!”

To celebrate, I decided to go out to a local nightclub. Now, here’s where it gets interesting. 

The clubs on St. Thomas closed at 4AM; which means that I stayed until 4AM. Why would l leave any earlier? That would be just plain inconsiderate to the nice, night-club people who keep their club open for revelers like myself to “turn up.”  (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

The next day came, and I was supposed to report to work at 9:30AM. I woke up at 10:30AM!

Yeah. That part. 

I was mortified! I thought, for sure, that I was going to be fired on the spot because Josep’s expectations were high. 

Stubbornly high! Which is why our team performed so well. There was absolutely know way that Mr. High Expectations (Josep) was going to forgive Mr. Turn Up (me). 

So I arrived to work (sweating like a hot-mess), and gave Josep a barrage of excuses. He patiently listened to them, saw right through them, and said the following. “I was counting on you.” Then, he turned and left.

Ugh. I felt that in my soul. In fact, I can still feel it to this day. 

That afternoon, I did my job as a banquet server and went home. 

Less than one week later, another beach banquet was being planned. And guess what? Josep came to me and offered the same opportunity again. I was flabbergasted. Surely, I did nothing to deserve another opportunity. (That’s where grace comes in.) I didn’t deserve it, but I got it anyway.

This time, however, instead of going to the nightclub, I grabbed the undeserved opportunity with both hands and helped execute a flawless event. Later, Josep told me that sometimes leaders can’t solely treat people according to their behavior; they have to treat them according to their potential. Wow. I also felt that in my soul. 

And because Josep believed in my potential, his expectations were super high for me and he told me so…everyday. He challenged me and insisted that I do better…everyday. I am who I am because leaders, like Josep, had stubbornly high expectations. They saw way more potential in me than I could ever see in myself.

It turns out that both high expectations and grace CAN co-exist. 

Ultimately, the job of a leader is to bring out the best in people. The excellence in people. Not the mediocrity in people. 

“How can I help you be at your best?” That is the question world-class leaders ask everyday. 

Why? Because their entire mission is to lift others higher.